January 2012
queenqueefs:
tumblr is so dead tonight because the people who claim they don’t have social lifes are out celebrating
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Typing in caps but instead of pushing the caps...
sunshinekindlyhere:
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When your maths teacher is teaching you Algebra...
caitlinshipley:
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LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS AWESOME CUSTOMER WE GOT...
barelyseventeenbarelydressed:
We’re a pretty big franchise pizza joint in New England and we can do online orders. Tonight we got a kid who put in an order for two extra large pizzas, one pepperoni one cheese. Fairly simple right?
WRONG! LOOK WHAT THIS MOTHERFUCKER ASKED FOR
Now the people I work with are dorks and gamers so we all freaked out, and of course we made the fucking pizza for...
1612th:
english words that pitbull knows
party
miami
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Me: There is very loud cuban music outside :I
Rylee: When isn't there?
Me: ...
Me: Good point.
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December 2011
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askandroidwheatley:
Oh god how did I miss this. Otp<3
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friend: *sees picture of favourite celebrity* oh, they're quite good-looking!
me: do you think so
me: do yoU EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
me: DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS
me: DO YOU KNOW THEIR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME
me: HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE OF THEIR PERFECTION AND SCREAMED AT PICTURES OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU DON'T CARE REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST PLEASED THEY'RE IN THE WORLD
friend: what
me: nothing i have a cough, yes they are good-looking aren't they
Put a character in my ask and I'll tell you
super-weak:
1. My OTP for them
2. A person of the same sex I ship them with
3. A person of the opposite sex I ship with with
4. An uncommon person I ship them with
5. A ship with them I don’t care for
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Me: Do you want any help, Mom? Mom: No thanks, sweetie. 5 minutes later… Mom: HONEST TO GOD, IT’S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE. IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK, I’D COME BACK, AND YOU’D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES. HONESTLY, I DO SO MUCH, AND I’M NOT EVEN VALUED. DO YOU EVEN CARE? NO, YOU DON’T.
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